Hugh’s influence is cherished by all. Says daughter Abby, “This love of his, this boundless, accepting love, steadies me at my very foundation.”

On Hugh Durden’s 60th birthday, his family celebrates his generosity, his idealistic spirit, his role as a source of inspiration to them, and his continual quest for knowledge.

Robert, Abby, Matt and Hugh.

His oldest son, Matt Durden, says he appreciates a dad who “endured a three-hour round-trip commute so that I wouldn’t have to start at a new high school in a new town for my senior year; who taught me how to drive, even though it meant constant low-grade whiplash and a hot cup of coffee to the lap; who worked hard to make sure that his family never wanted for anything.” He also recalls a dad “who let me drive on my first car dates at 15, riding in the back seat; who never hesitates to help me move to a new home, whether it’s down the street or across the country and who continues to support me and my siblings in whatever pursuit we choose and refuses to oppress us with the demands of the practical.”

He views his dad as a role model. “What I admire most about Dad is that he’s never stopped learning new things at every chance he gets, and it is that I most want to emulate.”

His second son, Robert Durden, echoes this admiration. “It says a lot that I never have grown tired of being told ‘You’re just like your father!’ ” he says. “It is said that we are what we repeatedly do. By this definition, my father is a giving, kind, intelligent problem solver, and I have seen him as a role model my entire life. After speaking with Dad about my future goals, I always feel like I can conquer the world. I am very thankful to have him as my father.”

Hugh, age 15 months, with his mom, Katherine.

His youngest child, and only daughter, Abby Durden, recalls his lifelong influence on her, from teaching her how to spell Mississippi, to helping with math homework and catching her first fish with him at Camp Hanes. “I remember him not only attending my first dance recital (and all others), but actually participating in it with me, as well!” she says. “My first moment on stage, at probably five years old, I was wearing a white dress with red polka dots, tap dancing in circles around my father.”

Even now that she is an adult, he continues to be a huge influence on her. “He continues to boost me in so many ways; he has helped me to figure out how important critical thinking and scholarship are to me and the central role that writing plays in my life. He has shown me how happiness with my life’s work is not a dream to be deferred when the possibilities are boundless, so why settle for anything less?

“He grew up in hard times, attended college with kids from different backgrounds, went to war, watched friends die, experienced the competitiveness of the business world for 30 years, yet he still believes that people are basically good.

“Whatever I do, whichever dream I pursue, even if I fail, I know that he believes in me. This love of his, this boundless, accepting love, steadies me at my very foundation. He’s the best dad a girl could ever have.”

Hugh with his dad, Bill.

His mother, Katherine Durden, recalls that Hugh’s generosity started at a young age. “When he was six, we went into an Anniston, Alabama women’s store. He was looking at the handkerchiefs, and he saw one he really liked. The lady told him it was 35¢. ‘But I only have a quarter,’ he said. She sold it to him at his price and he gave it to me on Mother’s Day. He was always saving money and buying presents.”

She describes Hugh as considerate, kind, generous and attractive to the opposite sex. “He always had a girlfriend,” she said. “He had an aura around him.” Hugh got an F in wood shop in 9th grade. She visited the teacher, who said, “In the 9th grade if they start goofing off, they won’t focus in coming years. Another thing, the girls all like Hugh.” She asked “What am I supposed to do about that?” “Nothing!,” he said.

His sister Becky Durden Brewer is just 15 months younger and says, “We were very close as children. He was always my protector. We went to Florida the summer before he left for Princeton, and during the trip he heard other girls were putting peroxide on their hair. He tried to find me and stop me, but it was too late. When he left for Princeton, it was like my best friend was gone.”

Hugh with family. Above, back row: Hugh, Jane, Mark; front: Becky, Katherine.

Becky and Hugh remain close. “Now I have MS and can’t tolerate heat. He lets me stay in his Cashiers house for the month of August. He has always been really good to me.”

Hugh’s younger sister Jane Durden Etheridge remembers the family trip to Princeton in 1965 to see Hugh graduate. “At the graduation party we danced to the Lester Lanin Orchestra and Hugh even got Mother, a staunch Baptist, on the dance floor. At another party I learned that my brother was a hell-raiser! He and his friends hacked up their furniture and parts of their suite with a machete.

“This was just a step in Hugh’s amazing life adventure taking him from Vietnam to Europe, Africa to Antarctica,” she said. “I love you, big brother, for showing me that life is full of delightful surprises.”
Mark Durden, Hugh’s baby brother, is only 36, and appreciates the stories Hugh tells of the early days of the Durden family, providing a link for him to his family heritage.

He has a great admiration for his older brother. “Hugh has a way of looking through things and getting to the root of it all to figure out a way to do things.” Once before making a proposal for a business venture, he first made an appointment through Hugh’s secretary to talk with him. “He was very surprised when he asked her who he was to see that day. But we talked about my ideas, then he talked about some other ideas off the top of his head, which were much more insightful and realistic. To say that I value our time together would be a huge understatement.”

Although Hugh is celebrating a milestone with this birthday, perhaps his mother sums up his spirit best. “Even though he is 60, I don’t feel he has fulfilled his potential,” she says. “He has a lot to offer life and life has a lot to offer him.”